if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
