My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
