You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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