I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
