Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
