bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
it's like iHOP with fire
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
BRING THE BAGELS
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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