yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
