so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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