I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
