found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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