actually, I'm a sock model
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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