Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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