So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
