he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize