is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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