ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
