This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Randomize
