watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
