I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
