On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
