we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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