tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Who put my cat in the fridge?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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