I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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