Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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