you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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