So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
