I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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