SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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