but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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