Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Still dying that you shit outside
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
