i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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