Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
