So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
