i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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