If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
