Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
He kissed a someone with a penis
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
this is an emotional support booty call
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
