this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
