i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
