Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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