I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
