i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
