Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
