bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Alive.
So much puke
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
