Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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