Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Everyone says I win the strip club
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
