Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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