I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
