So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
