dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
