That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
