she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
